I read this line recently...you are a work in progress because life isn't done with you yet. I definitely mistakenly thought the opposite. That at my seven decades and counting age I'd have everything figured out, things would be settled down to a point where life would be smooth sailing through whatever years are left. The thing that might derail that would be unavoidable illness. But no, there are still people/family worries, messy situations and uncertainty. That last thing is creeping into my thoughts more. I've questioned how I'm handling certain present situations which has led me to distrust how I handled things before now...just to make it all the more complicated. And then there's this little point...I've mentioned Be Prepared was my Girl Guide motto and I tried to live by it all my life. How to be prepared for what we don't know about or a possible reality that involves something we think we can't at all manage- that is a challenge. As one of you brilliant people said in a comment, it seems for some of us who are born worriers, as we grow older, we swap out one set of worries for another. How true!
Thank you all again for taking the time to comment, commiserate or share your wisdom and stories to cheer me up. And in spite of what I wrote above, that heavy, generally low, dragging feeling has lifted from my brain. Hallelujah! I mean it now when I write that I am doing better overall.
So what have I been doing? I made the vow to just get up and keep going no matter what I was feeling like. I didn't use a journal to make a list of things to do which I've found helpful in the past. This episode I seemed to know what I needed and that was to just get on with things. With swimming in the summer, I had mostly dropped my morning jog. After the pool closed, for a couple of weeks I did chair yoga, one that gets your heart rate up and I enjoyed it. I followed the exercises but after a couple of listens, started using my own music. Last week I felt up to starting the day with a little jog outside and that too has been great so I've kept that up. I could feel what an energy boost that was immediately and could kick myself for not doing so sooner.
I've been spending time each day in my new sewing area (whether I feel like it or not). As you all know, you are not there long and something needing doing will catch your eye and there you are, engaged and even moving a project along and even just a smidge feels good.
The view from my sewing machine table...a side look at the Hydrangeas. I've cleaned all the windows on the outside and paid particular attention to this one. Many birds and wildlife use this area near the bird feeder and I'm keeping my camera handy.
The Hydrangeas in this tree turn pink as the temperatures drop. Taken before window was web free.
Your autumn leaves, a rustler underfoot as Tony and Ned wander between the tall trees. A glorious scene. Worry, we would not be human if we didn't fret a little , sometimes all I need is a new distraction to turn my mind to other thoughts.I know I do not exercise enough, maybe to back when even a gentle stroll caused angina.However I make myself walk to the mail box several times a day, even knowing it was not a postie's day to drop off mail.Vancouver, For Josh the days are getting a lot cooler, winter tyres have been fitted, he tells me if he wants to go to Squamish for skiing, they are a necessity or you are turned back from the access road???So for me, the one thing I would wish for is to be younger and fly northwards.
ReplyDeleteglad your mood is getting better it sounds like you have been in a depression which I think most people get now and then. I have been thinking of chair yoga but yet never get started on it. I will need to make time but for now I am trying to get down to the garden and pull weeds and get the garden ready for winter
ReplyDeleteYou have described me since my February fall down a flight of stairs (and all three of the subsequent falls). I have deteriorated till I can barely walk. I need to get up and get going, return to my exercises ... you know the drill.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, Jocelyn. So glad you are feeling better. I'm sure the rotation of exercise has been a big help. I always feel like oxygen to the brain is a good thing! Have a terrific Thursday!
ReplyDeleteHi Jocelyn, I'm pleased to see that you are feeling a little "lighter and brighter". I'm a pretty good worrier too, with plenty of what ifs thrown in the mix as well.
ReplyDeleteThere are days that I push myself to do anything at all. Yet, with the pushing things seem to get better. I am so glad the stubborn blues are lifting for you.
ReplyDeleteLove the cross stitch you are working on. Me, well I knit while watching (or listening) to the television in the evenings.
God bless.
So glad you’re feeling better! Your post cheered ME up, too. I’m sitting up straighter, thinking that I should start moving more. Dot in NC
ReplyDeleteI always thought I'd have it figured out by the time I reached the 70's. But, like you say, there are just different things to worry about - things that are out of my control. One of the Presidents of our church once said; "Things will work out, they always do." That is what I try to remember. Glad you're able to get out and get some exercise. I should do better on that.
ReplyDeleteThis past week we celebrated 270 Yeats of birthdays! My daughter had a surprise party for my self ( just furned 85h ) my her dad who turned 90 in three weeks and my sister who turns 95 on Novemeber 30! We are not in perfect health but we live in our own homes and manage our own lives and households! I realize we are fortunate but I think the key is to just keep going and not over think things. We have had our losses but life goes on and you do the best you can
ReplyDeleteI used to think I ought to have everything all figured out by now, too Jocelyn. (I think I was thinking that back at 50!) But life is just messy, isn't it, and uncertainty is hard for all of us. I'm so glad you're feeling better lately! Getting out and exercising is always a good thing. Your view of the hydrangeas out the sewing room window is lovely! I love those Everglade blocks and the Tudor Bee design as well. Happy stitching!
ReplyDeleteI’m happy that your funk has lifted and life is better. Your sewing projects are showing progress and I love the view from your clean window! This reminds me that we need to clean our windows too…. We have been eating Turkey leftovers this week. I made two types of soup too. Delicious! Great picture of Tony and Ned ! Gail at the cozy quilter
ReplyDeleteTwo night ago, I woke up at 2:30 (dog barked) and of course had trouble getting back to sleep. I thought of you and wondered how you were doing. I'm glad the bulk of your heavy feeling has lifted. "Born worriers" - yes, I belong to that club. ;)
ReplyDeleteYour Tilda are pretty! What a glorious view you have out that big beautiful window. Your turkey looks soooooo good! Are those pats of butter on the "before" shot? And you stuffed it with bread stuffing? My daughter (in a group text) mentioned the possibility of having our Thanksgiving at her house (about 50 miles away), and I responded enthusiastically but have mixed feelings about it! Am I territorial about Thanksgiving food? LOL! Love that photo of Tony and Ned.
Take care, my friend.
i can echo some of your feelings...after struggling many years as a single parent with too many responsibilities, i thought later on i'd be footloose and fancy free...not so...family issues, financial concerns, health blips...annoying to be sure...but i too hide away in quilting and sewing and exercise...it is such a great mood booster....lovely stitchery and blocks...
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're getting your mojo back. We all need to be thankful for the here and now.
ReplyDeleteI was born a worrier as was my Mother. Now at the age of 85 I think I have overcome it, at least a bit! There is no point in worrying about the past and what I may or may have done wrong! It is over and i hope I learned from it. As for worrying about the future, there is not a lot I can do. I had major back surgery last year and have breezed trough it. I have decided that I can handle any health conditions that come my way. My husband has early dementia and Ed have decided to stay in our home as long as we can. Is this the right decision? I don't know? But I am trying not to overthink it and live one day at a time. My advice is to not take knife too seriously. We really have little control over things. I have had many losses but life does go on. Keep busy doing what you enjoy with the people you enjo!
ReplyDeleteThat last photo is the best! I sense you are a nature girl and being outside in nature is your calming/restful place. I'm so glad the morning jog is back and working for you. I'm thinking Ned is a happy camper too! Your turkey looks yummy and I love the photo of the hydrangeas with the web. That's realistic life =). Enjoy your week.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are feeling better. I've been a bit low, now that yard work is slowing down. Ever onward!
ReplyDelete