How are you all? I want to tell you something and I feel sure you all will understand this. I debated sharing because I also don't want to upset anyone. Since last writing to you, I had a few days where my mood was deep down in my boots. It came out of the blue; just woke one morning feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I coped like I always do when this happens with pushing myself to keep extra busy. I vaccumed and mopped all the floors here, made more trips with bringing up firewood, gave the dogs extra walkabouts and dug through more boxes of stored stuff in the lower level. That last is a never ending chore! I also turned to my usual comforts...stitched a lot and drank real coffee to see if that alone would perk me up. (I usually drink half caf or decaf.) Anyway, what made me so down, like deep in my soul sad??? Maybe the state of the world... like all of you, I am sad and scared about that and also worried about the prospect of another world war, which cannot be wholly discounted. Closer to home, Tony's health and watching him fail and not being able to do anything about it, is frustrating, worrying and scary to me. I wondered if it was about something more personal and selfish, like deep down fears of being alone which is not something I ever want to be. I think I'm actually terrified of being alone. But really, there wasn't anything in my mind specifically that was the issue-just my usual jumble of wide ranging thoughts and inner musings about all of the above. Late in the afternoon on Day 3, I felt a little better though still teary but I could tell I was recovering somehow and the weight of sadness was lifting.
Hallelujah! And now, my mood has pretty much righted itself; I feel in control of my emotions (the tears) and I am myself again-whatever/whoever that is- and am so thankful she is back! Whenever I have this happen to me, which thankfully is not often, it gives me fresh empathy for folks who battle depression. What a horrible, horrible affliction!
On a much much brighter note, we just celebrated Robbie's 13th birthday with a fun evening out at The Keg. Here he is...
This is just one of several Redwork projects I have worked on, with a couple still ongoing. This one is Meg Hawkey's Flight of Fancy for Crabapple Hill Studio ( I still lament their closing) featuring her favourite birds. It combines simple quilting with the embroidered blocks.
I loved embroidering all the blocks way back in 2015 and sewed them into a flimsy a couple years later. It's large, about 40 in x 55 inches, so I used the house to pin it up for a photo.











3 comments :
So glad you are starting to feel better and more you! I've had the same issue, but I tend to just sit which is not good. Thankfully more energy is back and wanting to do those crafty projects again. Your woodpile is lovely. I would love to curl up in front of a fire in the hearth with a good book or quilting project. Alas... feels like 90 outside in Florida right now. I'll wander into the AC sewing area and see what trouble I can get into!
I'm always happy when I see a new post from you. It sounds like you have had a rough patch, and I'm glad you are pulling through so that you feel more like yourself again. Even shortish periods of anxiety and deep worry are debilitating and difficult. It's really good that you have a list of ways to help yourself through. Thank you for sharing all of this with us. I think it helps all of us to hear how you cope--you become a role model for resiliency and courage.
I think you have been having off and on short spells of depression over the last couple years it is most likely normal, your husbands health is not like it used to be and it is worrisome. If it gets worse get some help. I think we all go through short periods of it. That wood pile is something and good to get such a head start on it so that it is close by so you can just go out the door in bad weather and get it. We all know "winter is coming" and you are in the north where you know you will get it!! Take care, get sunshine and walks
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