Monday, 3 March 2014

Maudlin Monday=Long Thoughts

"Have in me the strong loneliness

of sunless cliffs,

And of grey waters."

         Ezra Pound

Here it feels like a maudlin Monday in March.  I'm indulging myself with some long thoughts this morning.  I was thinking about how I am a bit of a chameleon in that I can take on the colours of wherever I am set down.  In my present form, I am white-haired, trying my hand at gardening, loving big dogs and taking long country walks.  It has been a process to shake the sense that I am not just visiting, that I won't stand up one day and say to my host, thanks so much for having me but I must be on my way. 
I think part of this thinking is due to the fact that my family moved around a bit when I was growing up; we lived in five different communities.  I moved twice during high school.  In my first marriage which lasted almost four decades, I lived mostly in places where it is understood you are passing through, where there is a strong sense of transiency ( though I hasten to add, a wonderful life can be lived in any of those communities if it is your choice). 
 However, for awhile there I thought perhaps I was one of those people who is meant to be permanently mobile.  And I have always had a strong sense of the positives about such a lifestyle... besides all the wonderful experiences of different places and people, it has made me independent with an ability to embrace change, qualities not to be underestimated.
And now, present time,  I've landed here in this country place.  Like a plant, most likely a weed, I am taking my nourishment where I find it and I am finding a good life for myself here.  The closeness to nature, the birds, the woodsy walks, the hubby and his cups of tea, are all sustaining.  As I sit in the big leather chair and hoist my cup of coffee and eye the birds at the feeder, I must admit it is plentiful and peaceful.