Saturday, 21 March 2015

The Lonely Work of Mothering

Long thoughts here today- March and Sundays do that to me.  This is a post I wrote almost 3 years ago exactly... updated slightly.  

Above is another example of my mother's patchwork quilt efforts.

 I know with this one she divided her triangles into light and dark, turned them right side down and sewed them as they appeared, a true patchwork effort.  It is interesting how even with such happenstance, there is a certain charm to the finished product. The snow white triangles nicely highlight the coloured ones.  And Mom would not have had books or videos to guide her progress.

I am thinking about my mother a lot these days maybe because she is into her mid 80's now.  I am so happy for her to have achieved such a great age in relative good health. She says to see her children grown, married, known her grandchildren and now to have 2 great-grandsons make her feel really and truly blessed.

  Of course, she has had to say good-bye to any number of family and friends along the way.  I know her path has not always been easy especially because my mother is a born worrier.  It is 'how she is knit' as the old folks would say, and the pattern got passed on to me, her eldest child. 

I read this sentence, don't know where..."Mothering, the worries are lonely work."
 I know my darkest thoughts are always midway through the night, never about myself and perhaps the source of my occasional bouts of insomnia.  Thoughts that are too foolish or hurtful or sad to give voice to the next day so remain mine alone.  I am the first to admit that I often 'overthink' things; a condition I do not allow myself in daylight hours when common sense prevails.

I know I do not have the ability to predict home invasions, black ice, parasitic infections, or terrorist attacks -  let alone the whole future.  Thankfully, with emerging daylight these thoughts disappear and then there is always lots to do to keep hands and mind busy.

And the hands are busy today stitching this.