The spreading wild columbine, in shaded areas a flimsy carpet of bronzy reds
Yes, I feel like during those years of my life, I had enough smiling and head-nodding to last a lifetime. The cumulative effect of those feelings was that when I retired I promised myself I would not put myself in any social situations again that I did not want. I've heard of lots of women who feel like this...age gives their feelings a legitimacy, validates their unwillingness to put up with whatever it is that they feel they've had to go along with to get by.
Of course to write this down makes it seem more dramatic somehow than it really all was, which is so often the case.