Last night was one of those nights for me, which happen every now and again. I woke up at 3:47 and couldn't get back to sleep. My mind was restless and roved over familiar, joyless territory. Nothing happy or heart warming or even thinking about recent good news could dispel the mood. I seemed compelled to think of each family member and imagine all the worst case scenarios or calamities that could befall them. For good measure last night, I added fears about ebola and Isis to the mix. Yikes!
I worked at getting through it though. I practiced my deep breathing and tried several relaxation techniques; finally I gave up on it and turned on my light and after word reading for a couple of pages, managed to lose myself in a book.
I think this latest middle-of-the-night gloom was prompted by concern for my parents who are elderly now and facing the inevitable health situations. It has been a sad journey to watch the changes, changes I don't think I ever really thought would happen. These are two people who never smoked, drank or ate anything but good food. They both believed in keeping a good body weight and worked successfully at it all their lives. Maybe because of this attitude (which has greatly influenced me), I thought they would always be with me. They would somehow beat the odds and live forever or at least as long as I live because selfishly I don't want to live without them
When I opened my mail box this morning, coincidentally there was a link from www.oprah.com to her interview with Ekhart Tolle where he speaks to the topic What Really Happens After We Die. I watched the clip, which is short, and felt a little better. Perhaps you can check it out if you are in the mood for a little spiritual sustenance this morning.